super simple joys

i abandon my kvetchy moments to write about one of the most basic current joys in my life.  one that was out of bounds for the past 6 years and now and then i am astonished to realize that i am, indeed, allowed to stand at my kitchen counter, peel and then consume, section by section, beautiful winter grapefruits.  red and glistening and sweet in a way that only happens in january and february – they are a simple treat that i have just dreamed about while they were disallowed for a woman taking tamoxifen.  indeed, grapefruit has the ability to mess with all sorts of medication – allowing some drugs to become much more powerful – in a bad way – than intended.  here’s one place to read about this: 

i have always loved grapefruit.  perhaps it started way back when my mom used to serve us a 1/2 grapefruit – with a maraschino cherry and a drop of sugar on top – as our dinner appetizer (it was always that or a small glass of tomato juice.  i thought we were very sophisticated!)  i have cheated on my ‘must not have’s’ occasionally – i do eat the once-in-a-while portion of ma po tufu or miso soup and hope the gods of soybean-conversion-into-estrogenic-matter are not tempted to mess with me over such tiny and rare indiscretions.  but i knew i could never just have a little bit of grapefruit.  it was an all or nothing love affair for me – so i swore off.  over the past two months – as i’ve been sans medication – no, no, no, NO…we will NOT think about the aromatase inhibitor that i’ve currently declined to consume even after enormous pressure (“so what you’re telling me is that you care more about your “life style” (translation for me: memory, quality of life, not being 90 before i’m 55) than getting cancer again?” yikes) … soooo…back to our happy program:  – i’ve come home and feel truly surprised to look at the pile of grapefruits on the counter and realize that i am allowed to indulge.  and i find myself standing there at 5 pm and thinking – oh who cares about dinner – as i peel and pull back the membrane and each very juicy bite is utter pleasure.  and i am surprised and so very happy to feel this extremely simple joy in a deeply satisfying way.  party on.


One Response to super simple joys

  1. michelle shaw-clouse says:

    Beany…so nice to hear your beautiful words..hope that we find the time to have another beautiful get together soon!

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