this is 54. (a partial list)

october 14th 1957 + 54 years = october 14th 2011

i’m alive.

i’m happy to be alive.

some days i’m 35 pounds lighter than i was 4 1/2 years ago and some days i’m 30 pounds lighter than i was 4 1/2 years ago.

i really notice those 5 pounds now.

i am the aging mother of an amazing high school jr.  she surprises me (in a good way) every single day even as she rolls her eyes at me.  i just can’t say how much love grows in my heart for this witty, caustic, quirky kid i helped bring into the world.

i am married over 20 years which is longer than i lived with my parents.  that says a lot about my husband.

i love my house and hate my neighborhood.

i have worked very hard to once again have real and meaningful friendships in my life and think i’m succeeding – of course, it’s all to my benefit.  a few are over 15-years-of-emailing dear friends whom i’ve never met in real life but whom i hold as my closest confidents.

when i look in a mirror i think my hair looks good.  when i look at a photo of myself, i think my hair looks like i survived cancer.

i remind myself that i’ve put over 5 years of surviving cancer behind myself on a daily basis. 

i need more sleep. 

i often can’t stay asleep.

i’m doubly removed of estrogren (age and medications) and it’s really not for the better as far as my femininity or my ability to concentrate on reading a book is concerned. 

i still try on clothes that i think look fabulous but quickly realize that i could have worn them 25 years ago. 

i can sing better than 25 years ago.  now to find out if that means anything when you’re aging and zaftig.

i finally left organized religion behind and concentrate on being a good person in this world. 

i think about food and cooking and travel all the time.

i still love new york city but there’s a teeny part that can imagine retiring in victoria, b.c.   i can imagine retiring.  bliss.

without lists, i would not survive. 

i’m alive.

i’m happy to be alive.

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4 Responses to this is 54. (a partial list)

  1. Lisa says:

    Good list. You have much for which to be happy.

  2. Kath says:

    Oh, you happy list-maker! It must be genetic. Or it could be environmental . . . who cares? I’m happy that you’re here, that you’re happy, and that you’re my sister. xoxox, kath

  3. Jodi says:

    I’m proud to imagine that I have a place on your beautiful list. xoxo

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