stop looking in the rearview mirror

July 22, 2010


says my husband – both frustrated with my hesitant defensive driving (WHEN did i start to drive like an old lady???? really…when?) and what he perceives as my not looking ahead enough and always looking over my shoulder to gauge the future by the less-than-illustrious-recent-medical-past.  to be fair, he has a point.  it’s just that i adjust in fits and starts.  and the biggest thing that hinders me from plowing forward full force is that i always remember that i was hit completely out of the blue.  happy as a clam (well, as happy as this clam can manage) and then BOOM!  mess-with-your-head-you-might-die-CANCERCANCERCANCER-and-even-if-you-don’t-you’ll-wish-you-might-after-what-we-do-to-you-and-even-when-it’s-over-it’s-never-over-…just so you know. 

 i was taught to drive when i was 15-16 in driver’s ed.  never just look forward.  always look forward; then to the side-mirror; then forward; then to the other-side-mirror; then forward; then to the rear-view-mirror; then forward.  it’s ingrained.  i’m used to looking sideways and backward but i just need to remember that the last thing on the list is always to finish by looking forward.


forward movement

July 13, 2010


between the lulling heat of summer and our new gut kitchen reno, i’ve been pretty lax in posting.  i keep finding myself thinking: when it’s a little more together or we’ve made more decisions, i’ll be ready to write about it.  ha!  i can sell you a house easily but overseeing the aesthetic choices for my new kitchen is overwhelming.   so many choices and they all need to mesh.  everyone wants our money.  our sad kitchen – not dealt with since the early 1950’s with the exception of a hideous linoleum floor slapped in when i moved into the house  in 1990 and a fat barely white fridge thrown in at the same time to replace the scariest fridge ever seen were our only upgrades.  in truth, i’ll miss the lovely gas cooktop on the old stove (4 burners but over a 36″ top) but will NOT miss the teeny tiny oven which made me measure every roasting pan i ever hoped to roast a turkey in.   and, for that matter, measure the turkey itself – one of them scraped the top of the oven until i found a way to push it down further in the pan. 

our contractor cut holes into the giant (i’m not kidding…GIANT) soffits over the cabinets to be sure that there were no hidden pipes that we needed to work around and found a lovely surprise.  lots of bottles and glasses standing on the cabinets – we haven’t even gotten them all out yet – and most of them pretty cool.  at least one has a date stamped into the glass – 1953.   it was a charming mystery – why would someone have sealed them up for eternity? 

 i am looking forward to the end of this week – the cabinets will be ordered, the deposit placed on appliances (i was worried that i was going to get a stop order from the internet police for doing 2,457 searches too many on prices and reviews of appliances).  and then we get to go have a few days of visiting teenage daughter at camp before we come back to the big pack-up and eventual utter gut – floors, ceilings, and walls – of our kitchen at the end of july  so….just how much rotisserie chicken can any family eat in 2 months and still live to talk about it?  



melted thoughts

July 5, 2010


if i had a thought in my head, it would have melted by now and formed a small dribbly puddle at my feet.  i am a true fall baby – born in october and happiest when the leaves start turning and the smell of fall is in the air.  but this heat…96 degrees and holding at 7pm … is too much for me.  i have turned into a sloth.  it’s not even weather to love the garden but mostly to get out there early or late and try to water it enough so that it doesn’t dry up and fry up.  try to stay cool. 

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