and tomorrow, 4 years and 1 day. today is my 4 year ‘anniversary’ of the sad and awful day i was diagnosed with breast cancer. i won’t dwell too much on that day except to say that it was a surreal nightmare that seemed to go on and on. of course, that might have been the copious amounts of xanax i ingested in order to find some way to keep breathing. that xanax. that was an eye-opener for a girl who didn’t take pharmaceuticals! (actually, more like an eye-closer because even 1/2 a tiny dose put me right to sleep.)
i’m a little nervous to even ‘talk’ about it but then i reasoned that it is simply a fact. and tomorrow, i will be 4 years and 1 whole other day away from that stupid fucking day.
i’m 29 pounds lighter and have immeasurably improved my cholesterol and ldl’s and hdl’s and whatever other dl’s there are to improve. i have hair. i have stuff. i have the most wonderful husband and am utterly in love with my quirky teenage daughter, no matter how many times she rolls her eyes at me. i let myself sing at the top of my lungs (and, i promise you, that is inconceivably loud) when i’m in the basement on my wonderful elliptical. for the moment, i’ve stopped compulsively eating between meals. brooklyn is still one of the coolest places to live. we have plans to travel more. i have friends i like. i feel here.