catching a groove…


i am quick to blame many of my foibles
on the after-effects of chemo, surgery and radiation but i think i have to start to admit to myself that age and diet may well have something to do with it.  i can see that when i regularly exercise (for me that’s 30 min. on my ellpytical 3-4 times a week) i catch so much more of a wave through my week.  but now, i have a pattern:  i am very energetic all day – working, doing errands, planning meals and then around 8pm i crash…i could just pass out.  but i don’t.  i feel dazed and overwhelmed and play many too many silly word games on my computer waiting for bedtime for my teenager.  i can’t actually seem to process thoughts in the evening.  i have visions of becoming one of those characters in a p.d. james mystery novel who quietly watch the evenings go by in their comfy chairs.   but by the time i actually go to bed: i’m up again!   ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkay…i admit it.  it’s the sugar.  it’s the finnish black licorice that i sneak nightly – if i couple that with pasta i’m a goner.  i feel pretty silly about it all.  i feel like i am 70 not 51.  it’s not like i’m drowning my worries in wine or whiskey!   shouldn’t i still be taking on the world?  turns out, if there’s licorice around, not so much! 


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