i am quick to blame many of my foibles on the after-effects of chemo, surgery and radiation but i think i have to start to admit to myself that age and diet may well have something to do with it. i can see that when i regularly exercise (for me that’s 30 min. on my ellpytical 3-4 times a week) i catch so much more of a wave through my week. but now, i have a pattern: i am very energetic all day – working, doing errands, planning meals and then around 8pm i crash…i could just pass out. but i don’t. i feel dazed and overwhelmed and play many too many silly word games on my computer waiting for bedtime for my teenager. i can’t actually seem to process thoughts in the evening. i have visions of becoming one of those characters in a p.d. james mystery novel who quietly watch the evenings go by in their comfy chairs. but by the time i actually go to bed: i’m up again! ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkay…i admit it. it’s the sugar. it’s the finnish black licorice that i sneak nightly – if i couple that with pasta i’m a goner. i feel pretty silly about it all. i feel like i am 70 not 51. it’s not like i’m drowning my worries in wine or whiskey! shouldn’t i still be taking on the world? turns out, if there’s licorice around, not so much!