i’m often asked if i miss having a career as a singer. or if i miss singing. the answer goes both ways. i have been a very black and white girl from the get-go. all or nothing. i either do it all the way or i don’t. i never wanted to be some high-amateur singer (i feel a seinfeld moment here – should i add: not that there’s anything wrong with that.) when i sing, it comes up from my toes. and yes, i’m loud. very loud (and, thankfully, in tune). so loud that when a burgler kicked in the back door of our house – many years ago – and i was alone in the living room balancing a bowl of homemade applesauce on my belly while watching tv – the neighbors at the end of the block and around the corner heard me screaming as i fled the house but no one heard the guy kick in our back door! loud.
this topic is too big for me to truely answer. and i’m the one who posed the question. i miss the venue to have something to say. i always had something to say on that stage. often said through the lyrics of whatever song i chose. i miss escaping into that particular perfect moment. i miss sitting on pianos. i miss the rehearsals. i miss very good hotels. i miss the people who run them. i miss the knowing. just knowing i felt that i got it right. for that moment.
what i don’t miss i’ll talk about another time.